we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize