oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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