Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
