Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's shark week go big or go home
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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