they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
