I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
