yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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