Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
