I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
