everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
