haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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