pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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