Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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