I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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