drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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