it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dignity is for republicans.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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