I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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