Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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