a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize