foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
