I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
