Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
