Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
