shes about as inviting as chlamydia
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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