it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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