Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
