You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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