I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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