The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
