I skipped work to stalk him.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize