Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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