So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
