i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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