he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You ate ashes out of my bong
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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