hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't shave. On purpose
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
