The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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