You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We don't watch enough power rangers
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
