I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
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