think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
