you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize