i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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