Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
