Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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