But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
