Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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