FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
