I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize