New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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