I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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