how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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