No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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