Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
