I'm lost and stupid without you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize