i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
