Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
