I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
