You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
